Archive for May 2015

We are ruled by trauma—not truth

Fraser Trevor

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Title: We are ruled by trauma—not truth
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

We are ruled by trauma—not truth . We are the norm. We remain unconscious of the legacy of poison that we carry from our families and an...

We are ruled by trauma—not truth

We are ruled by trauma—not truth . We are the norm. We remain unconscious of the legacy of poison that we carry from our families and an...

In exile, far from their unconscious families, students of the ten stages have found their true home

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: In exile, far from their unconscious families, students of the ten stages have found their true home
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

In exile, far from their unconscious families, students of the ten stages have found their true home In exile, far from their uncon...

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<i>In exile, far from their unconscious families, students of the ten stages have found their true home</i></h1>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-AyYHC5hH8NE/VSo6v-iUFSI/AAAAAAAARao/pIAClYHMPS4/s1600/1-11050822_597090743761003_8908973908707265896_n-001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="border: 0px; clear: left; color: #666666; float: left; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 1em 1em 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><img border="0" height="284" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-AyYHC5hH8NE/VSo6v-iUFSI/AAAAAAAARao/pIAClYHMPS4/s320/1-11050822_597090743761003_8908973908707265896_n-001.jpg" style="border: none; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; max-width: 97%; padding: 0px; vertical-align: bottom; width: auto;" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #373737; font-size: 15px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 24.375px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">In exile, far from their unconscious families, students of <span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">the ten stages </span></span><span style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #373737; font-size: 15px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 24.375px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">have found their true home—within their true selves.  In this inner world of the child within, so feared by the conventional world and seen as tantamount to death, they find life.  In their exile they establish an outpost that is safe and sustaining.  In exile, far from the soul-crushing noise of the traumatised masses, they find truth—and it is within.  They are enlightened in exile.  In their solitude, they find others with whom to build a conscious community and a new creation.  They expand the boundaries of what it means to be human and they lead the way for others.  But there is a price to pay to live this new way.  They must abandon self-deception and the comforts of conformity—and align with truth and creative vitality.</span></div>
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In exile, far from their unconscious families, students of the ten stages have found their true home

In exile, far from their unconscious families, students of the ten stages have found their true home In exile, far from their uncon...

Emotional abuse is defined as any non-physical behaviours or attitudes that are designed to control, intimidate, subjugate, demean, punish, or isolate you.

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: Emotional abuse is defined as any non-physical behaviours or attitudes that are designed to control, intimidate, subjugate, demean, punish, or isolate you.
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Emotional abuse is defined as any non-physical behaviours or attitudes that are designed to control, intimidate, subjugate, demean, pu...

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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;"><br /><br />Emotional abuse is defined as any non-physical behaviours or attitudes that are designed to control, intimidate, subjugate, demean, punish, or isolate you. Emotional abuse is like brainwashing that systematically wears away self-confidence, self-worth, trust in your perceptions and your authentic self-concept. Recognising how you allow abuse from other people will also help you to see how you continue to "abuse" yourself on an inner level by perpetuating the negative messages that you have heard from others.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Understanding the Patterns of Emotional Abuse<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Domination - To dominate is to control another person's actions. The person who tries to dominate another person has a tremendous need to have their own way. Dominating behaviors might include having someone monitor your time and activities, interfering with your opportunities, excessive jealousy or possessiveness, threatening harm to you or your loved ones, abusing loved ones in front of you, forcing or coercing you into illegal or uncomfortable behavior.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Verbal Assaults - Verbal assaults include berating, belittling, criticising, humiliating, name calling, screaming, threatening, excessive blaming, shaming, using sarcasm in a cutting way, or expressing disgust toward a person. This kind of abuse is extremely damaging to a person's person's self-esteem and self-image. Verbal abuse assaults the mind and the soul, causing wounds that are difficult to heal. Other forms of verbal abuse are withholding, countering, discounting, verbal abuse disguised as jokes, judging, trivialising, ordering, and abusive anger.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Constant Criticism/Continual Blaming - When someone is unrelentingly critical, always finds fault, can never be pleased, and blames you for everything that goes wrong, it is the cumulative effects of the abuse that do the damage. Over time, the abuse eats away at your self-worth, undermining good feelings that you have about yourself and your accomplishments. Constant criticism and blaming can be insidious and done under the guise of humour.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Abusive Expectations - Abusive expectations involves placing unreasonable demands and asks that you put everything aside to satisfy another's needs. It asks for undivided attention, constant sexual availability, or the requirement for you to spend all of your time with another. With abusive expectations there is always more that you could have done. You likely will be subjected to constant criticism, berated because you do not meet another's needs.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Emotional Blackmail - Emotional blackmail is one of the most constant forms of manipulation. It happens when one person consciously or unconsciously coerces the other to do what he or she wants by playing on fear, guilt, or compassion. Using withholding love, or affection or fear tactics to get you under control is emotional blackmail. With emotional black mail a person will try to make you feel like you are selfish or a bad person if you do something that they do not want you to do.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Unpredictable Responses - This type of abuse includes drastic mood swings, sudden emotional outbursts for no apparent reason, and inconsistent responses such as: reacting very differently at different times to the same behaviour, saying one thing one day and the opposite the next, or frequently changing one's mind (liking something one day hating it the next). Unpredictable responses causes you to feel on constantly on edge, never knowing what is expected of you. This kind of behaviour is common with alcohol and drug abusers who can exhibit one personality while sober and a totally different one when intoxicated or high. Living with someone like this is extremely demanding and anxiety provoking You feel constantly frightened, unsettled, and off- balance, and must remain hypervigilant.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Constant Chaos/Creating Crisis - This behaviour is characterised by continual upheavals and discord. If someone in your life is in constant conflict with others they may be addicted to the drama of chaos. Creating chaos provides excitement for people who are uneasy with silence, those who distract themselves from their own problems by focusing on outer problems, those who feel empty inside and need to fill themselves up with outer activity, and those who were raised in an environment in which harmony and peace where unknown qualities.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Character Assassination - This involves constantly blowing up someone's mistakes out of proportion, humiliating, criticising, or making fun of someone in front of others, or discounting another's achievements. It can also include lying about someone in order to negatively affect others' opinion of them and gossiping about a person's failures and mistakes. Character assassination can also ruin someone's personal or professional reputation, causing them to lose friends, or even their family.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Gaslighting - This term comes from the classic movie "Gaslight", in which a husband uses a variety of insidious techniques to make his wife question her perceptions, her memory, and her very sanity. A person who does this may continually deny that certain events occurred or may insinuate that you are exaggerating or lying. In this way the abusive person may be trying to gain control over you or avoid taking responsibility for his or her actions. Gaslighting is sometimes used to turn others against you, or as a way to justify inappropriate, cruel, or abusive behaviour.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Sexual Harassment - Sexual harassment is defined as unwelcome sexual advances or any physical or verbal conduct of a sexual nature that is uninvited and unwelcome. It is also considered sexual harassment when a partner tries to force you into sexual acts that you have no interest in or that upset or repulse you.</span><div class="zemanta-related" style="clear: both; margin-top: 20px; overflow: hidden;">
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Emotional abuse is defined as any non-physical behaviours or attitudes that are designed to control, intimidate, subjugate, demean, punish, or isolate you.

Emotional abuse is defined as any non-physical behaviours or attitudes that are designed to control, intimidate, subjugate, demean, pu...

Trauma addiction the dissociation of escapism of must be healed if the intergenerational cycle of re-traumatising is ever to be broken. There is no other way.

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: Trauma addiction the dissociation of escapism of must be healed if the intergenerational cycle of re-traumatising is ever to be broken. There is no other way.
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Trauma addiction the dissociation of escapism must be healed if the intergenerational cycle of re-traumatising is ever to be broken. ...

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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">Trauma addiction the dissociation of escapism must be healed if the intergenerational cycle of re-traumatising is ever to be broken. There is no other way.</span></div>

Trauma addiction the dissociation of escapism of must be healed if the intergenerational cycle of re-traumatising is ever to be broken. There is no other way.

Trauma addiction the dissociation of escapism must be healed if the intergenerational cycle of re-traumatising is ever to be broken. ...

Many trauma victims emotionally “fly away” in their minds to escape the horror they are experiencing. Not surprisingly, flying dreams are common.

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: Many trauma victims emotionally “fly away” in their minds to escape the horror they are experiencing. Not surprisingly, flying dreams are common.
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Dreams and traumatic experiences are similar. Both involve intense emotion, though in traumatic experiences the emotion results from ...

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Dreams and traumatic experiences are similar.<br />
<br />
Both involve intense emotion, though in traumatic experiences the emotion results from external stimuli, whereas in dreams it comes from internal flashbacks of the split-off trauma we carry in our psyche.  No surprise that adults and children with Post traumatic Stress Disorder often have terrible flashbacks in their dreams.<br />
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Both involve periods of dissociation.  Many trauma victims emotionally “fly away” in their minds to escape the horror they are experiencing.  Not surprisingly, flying dreams are common.<br />
<br />
Both are connected with our parents.  Our parents in childhood are our primary traumatizers, because when we were children they had more power over us than will anyone later in our life.  It’s no surprise that parents, either overtly or covertly, symbolise so much in dreams, especially when our primary traumas start to bubble up.<br />
<br />
Both are connected with psychosis.  Extreme traumatic experiences can cause psychosis, whereas dreams themselves are nothing more than psychosis during sleep.  And the <i><b>most traumatized people do their dreaming while awake – by hallucinating and having delusions.</b></i><br />
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Both involve denial.<b><i>  Society denies all but the most intense traumas and minimizes the rest</i></b>; most people do the same with their dreams.  In this vein, most people believe they had a happy, non-traumatic childhood; these are the same people who wish you “sweet dreams” at night.<br />
<br />
Both involve the repetition compulsion.  We compulsively replicate our unresolved traumas in an attempt to heal them. Likewise, we often have repeats of the same dreams – or dream themes.<br />
<br />
Both rupture the borders of our personality.  Traumatic experiences force their way through the psyche like a nail through a board, whereas dreams are the psyche’s attempt to pull the nail out of the board.<br />
<br />
As such, both involve the essence of our life’s process.  Traumatic experiences destroy life; dreams hope to reclaim it.<br />
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Many trauma victims emotionally “fly away” in their minds to escape the horror they are experiencing. Not surprisingly, flying dreams are common.

Dreams and traumatic experiences are similar. Both involve intense emotion, though in traumatic experiences the emotion results from ...

Society denies all but the most intense traumas and minimises the rest

Fraser Trevor

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Title: Society denies all but the most intense traumas and minimises the rest
Author: Fraser Trevor
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Society denies all but the most intense traumas and minimises the rest; most of us do the same with our dreams. In this vein, we beli...

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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">Society denies all but the most intense traumas and minimises the rest; most of us do the same with our dreams. In this vein, we believe we had a happy, non-traumatic childhood; these are the same of us who wish us “sweet dreams” at night.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Both involve the repetition compulsion. We compulsively replicate our unresolved traumas in an attempt to heal them. Likewise, we often have repeats of the same dreams – or dream themes.<br /><br />Both rupture the borders of our personality. Traumatic experiences force their way through the psyche like a nail through a board, whereas dreams are the psyche’s attempt to pull the nail out of the board.<br /><br />As such, both involve the essence of our life’s process. Traumatic experiences destroy life; dreams hope to reclaim it.<br /></span>Related articles<br />
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Society denies all but the most intense traumas and minimises the rest

Society denies all but the most intense traumas and minimises the rest; most of us do the same with our dreams. In this vein, we beli...

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Many trauma victims emotionally “fly away” in their minds to escape the horror they are experiencing. Not surprisingly, flying dreams are common.

Society denies all but the most intense traumas and minimises the rest

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