Instead of trying to change someone to be the way you want him or her to be, here's a new idea: send them loving kindness.

Instead of trying to change someone to be the way you want him or her to be, here's a new idea: send them loving kindness.



Accept them, just as they are with no changes and just send them acceptance; we see them happy, healthy and living a vibrant life.



We step out of acceptance and into fear when we try to make people conform to our ideal of what we think they should be.



This is out of alignment for two reasons:




1. We are not unconditionally accepting someone when we expect him or her to be any other way than they are.



2. We are not unconditionally accepting ourselves if we are consciously choosing to be in a relationship with someone who isn't meeting our needs.



It is far easier to choose someone who you are compatible with from the beginning than to choose to be in relationship with someone who's potential you see, but who you want to change.



When we choose to only accept someone when they meet our expectations, we are letting our ego run the show. We have no idea what our intuitive voice is calling this person to do or become.
If we simply put them in the box of our expectations, we are limiting their growth and closing down intimacy in our relationship with this person. A person doesn't feel loved if they are constantly being judged and weighed and measured.



We are not here to judge and value the people in our lives, we are here to be a compassionate mirror, to show up and to support them in their growth and journey. A person feels accepted when they are seen and understood for who they are RIGHT NOW. Sure, we all have growth points, but that's not the point.



The point is, when we talk about creating rich, fulfilling and accepting relationships, when expectations and judgments creep in, we have gone down the path of our ego.



Let us release our expectations of others and let us release the expectations on ourselves. Let us accept ourselves and the people in our lives right where we are. We are growing daily; let us accept the process instead of trying to only accept a specific outcome that may or may not be for our greatest good.



And, let us choose to be in relationships with people we are compatible with us from the very beginning, instead of trying to change people to be compatible with us.


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